Stars
by The Lovely Cynic
Summary: ."Zack had always loved the stars..." Cloud goes to the cliff and remembers the man who saved him.


**Stars**

**Author's Notes: **A long overdue ZackCloud fic from me! Um… well, hinted, I suppose. Enjoy!

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The stars twinkled overhead; tiny pinpricks letting light shine through night's infinite, quilted darkness. There was no moon. Only the stars with their weak, flickering light and Midgar's smoggy, orange glow lit the horizon. The hot, suffocating sun had long since set, leaving the air to cool and slowly drain of its summer humidity.

A tiny pebble bounced foot by foot down the cliff as heavy boots approached its edge. They stopped several meters from the precipice, gravel crinkling and cracking underneath the leather soles. A heavy sigh resonated through the dry, desert air. Blue eyes lifted, almost hesitantly, towards the heavens. The small, softly glowing points of light were soothing to the man's eyes as he stared at them. The harsh luminosity of Midgar had always tired him, leaving him to feel worn-out and weary.

He sat down. The cool breeze gently caressed his cheeks, already flushed from the drive there. The stillness and quiet would be unnerving to any other man who had lived in the bustling city like Midgar his whole life. But, no. Cloud Strife embraced the peace and held onto it like a lifeline. He rarely got to experience the kind of euphoric silence he did in the desert. On the cliff….

The cliff was the one thing that unnerved Cloud. Memories seemed to flood to him there, submerging his mind in altogether unpleasant nostalgia. His mind ached as the people, places and experiences from the past bombarded him, causing his entire body to shake from the weight of his memories. One man seemed to appear in these recollections more so than the rest.

The man from his days in Shinra. The man from his days of being tested on, of his days of mako addiction, the man who _died _to save him.

Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class. Focusing on these memories with Zack seemed to be the only way to calm his racing heart, pumping blood and overwhelmed mind. The man with his silken, raven hair and glowing, mako-infused eyes. His smile could light up a room and his laugh could fill it to the brim. He was always caring, heart full of love and ready to share it.

And, as Cloud remembered, he did share it. He shared it with the flower girl who lived in the slums, the last living Ancient, the very same woman Cloud could have loved years later… Aeris Gainsborough. He saw the way Zack's eyes lit up when Aeris was mentioned; the way disappointment would etch its way onto his features when he answered the phone and it wasn't her. Love was the only word that came to mind when Cloud thought of Zack and Aeris's relationship.

He lay down. Far away from the industry of Midgar, the sky was beautiful. It was as if a dark, moth-eaten curtain had been pulled over the daytime sky. It was dark enough so you could barely see anything. Cloud liked that. He liked losing himself in the inky blackness, all conscious thought escaping him and pooling at the back of his mind for later.

The stars… Zack had always loved the stars. Sometimes, he used to take Cloud outside and point out constellation after constellation. The cold night air would nip at their bare skin, but they hardly noticed. They were caught up in their own world of blackness, silvery moonlight and stars. Cloud would press close to the elder man, hoping to gain some warmth from him as he recited the tale of Cassiopeia or Orion. The blond would listen intently, discreetly taking in the spicy, clean scent of Zack. It gave him goosebumps.

Simply remembering Zack's smell gave Cloud goosebumps.

Subconsciously licking his lips, the blond closed his eyes. The easy stillness took over his senses again. The soft humming of insects reached his ears. It was so peaceful and yet so… morbid. The cliff made him feel like there was something stirring in the pit of his stomach. This was the place where Zack had died. The place where he dissipated back into the Lifestream. A great pang of grief and guilt shot its way through Cloud's senses. Damn it, he thought he was over this! He thought that the grief and guilt would have ended after he had made peace with Aeris and cured the children's geostigma.

But every time Cloud came to the cliff, he still felt the guilt rip like a razorblade right through his heart. He couldn't help but blame himself for Zack's death. It _was _his fault. He was the reason Zack couldn't get to Midgar, into safety, faster. He was the reason Zack was shot. He caused it _all_.

It took him a moment to realize that the wet trails on his cheeks were tears.

He opened his eyes slowly, the cool breeze chilling the wetness and causing him to shiver. He quickly swiped away any sign of them. He was over this, damn it. He wouldn't cry over Zack or Aeris anymore. He had been forgiven, his sins washed away. He was no longer tainted by their deaths, even if he did still feel responsible.

He let out a long, shaky breath, the moist vapors condensing it the cool air and slowly drifting upwards into the sky. The stars were twinkling brighter than ever. They shone through the heavens like beacons of hope, as if trying to coax Cloud into his lost sense of peace. The sounds of night overtook the blond; the crickets, gently chirping in the distance, the rustling of wind through desert shrubs, the scurrying of tiny feet, trying to find food and refuge while the sun was still down.

The sudden, sharp smell of spice and soap surprised him.

His eyes widened and he felt the urge to sit up, but it was as if he were being held in place by some immovable force. The presence surround the cliff engulfed him, cradled him into a nearly numb sense of contentment. It was as if he were a babe being held in his mother's arms as she gently shushed him. The presence was so intensely familiar that it nearly overwhelmed him.

He could almost hear the laugh; he could almost feel the touch, see the smile. He latched onto a memory of a gentle caress, as soft as the wind that was brushing against his exposed skin. Zack. Zack was there. Zack was _everywhere_, surrounding him and encasing Cloud in sights, sounds, smells and memories too vibrant and real for the ethereal night.

Cloud could feel Zack's happiness, Zack's joy, Zack's hope, Zack's _love_. Oh, god, the love was nearly overpowering. It washed over him in tidal waves, trying to drown him in the passionate emotion. It almost burned—scalded—as if the waves were made of boiling water. He felt like he was suffocating in _Zack_.

And, as soon as it had come, it was gone. Zack was gone. His presence had been washed away like the tide. It didn't feel empty, though. In fact, the cliff felt almost lighter as the elder man's existence drifted away into the night.

It was because of the love. The love was still there. It locked itself away in Cloud's heart, staying there and feeling genuine enough to tear a sob from the blond's chest. He felt like Zack had been meaning to plant that feeling there, to tell him _"Spike, I'm still here." _Another sob erupted from him.

"_Cloud… I'm still here…." _

--**-End.**


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